After many weeks of struggle with my three year old, resulting in mommy exhaustion and a very sad and tired boy, I was reminded by a friend of a technique that I used in my classroom that worked wonders for disciplining in a positive and healthy way.
I call this the "warm fuzzy" jar. Each little pom pom is a warm fuzzy. I have told my son that when we are good we feel warm and fuzzy inside. I told him that I want to see him be good, so that we can both feel warm and fuzzy inside, and be happy. Anytime, and every time I see my little man do something well, or quickly obey, or do something kind etc. I add a warm fuzzy to the jar.
Notice how they are differing sizes. Depending on the thing he does he may get a big, or little warm fuzzy. As a mother I decide what this means. Usually, if it is something that is expected or that he does well, like taking his plate to the sink, I will give him a small warm fuzzy. If it something that he has been struggling with, like staying in his bed at night, I will give him a large warm fuzzy to show how proud I am of him.
It is as simple as that. When the jar is filled to the brim, he gets to go on a trip to the dollar store to choose one thing.
It is amazing how little people want to be good. If we as parents look for the good, we may be surprised at how good our children really are. The more good we see and acknowledge, the more they will want to be good. There will be less negativity, and focus on the things they are not doing right. They will be happy and we will be happy. I believe that I have the sweetest, most obedient, well-behaved little boy that there ever was thanks to the opportunity I have to really look for all the good he does.
-Megan
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